Emotional Weekend

Had a nice Friday night and Saturday in Chicago with Joel.

Doing that College orientation thing.  It just becomes more real every day.  Can't stop time.

Saturday was a incredible ride of emotions for both of us and I am sure it won't stop for some time.

First the excitement.  This is such an exciting time so much going on, next stages of my son's life.  Then for me it's a little bit of jealousy.  Wish I was 18 again, wish I had this opportunity, wish I tried a little harder.  I guess I will relive it through Joel, but at a distance.  It's his time, not mine,  I will just sit back and enjoy watching him.  Next is the nervousness.  You know the parental nervousness,  you want them to do well, but this is a huge step and it's a bit scary.  I can't imagine how Joel feels.  Then finally the sadness kicks in.  Not sad that he's moving away for school (although that is hard).  Its the realization my oldest kid not a kid anymore.  Still my little buddy in my mind but not so much in body.  Sad that this stage in our lives is nearing an end, ready to step into the next stage.

Walking to the train station after the day long session, I asked Joel if he would sleep on the train ride home.  "No I don't think so".  Sounding like the same little kid riding the train when he was younger.  Knowing full well he would back then.   He fell asleep this time too.  Still my little boy...